Coffee & Saints

Born: August 28, 1774 – New York, New York
Died: January 4, 1821 – Emmitsburg, Maryland

What I appreciate about St. Elizabeth Ann Seton:
She was not known for performing miracles, bi-locating, levitating in prayer, etc. like some of the other Saints. Instead, she lived her life with trust in the Lord; following His plan, even when it was difficult. She makes holiness attainable.

Coffee Order:
I picture Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton leaning towards something warm and comforting with little to no caffeine: tea with a little bit of milk and honey.

For today’s coffee outing, I think Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton would choose a busy café filled with customers. A convivial atmosphere would be her vibe, in my opinion, as she loved to be around people. I think she would have enjoyed the sounds of steaming milk, light music, and chatter from the other patrons.

Our Saint for today experienced a difficult childhood – she lost her mother when she was three, her step-mother was not emotionally present for her, her father was away from home quite a bit, and she was sent to live with relatives in the country – twice!

Despite a childhood of what can only be described as lonely, Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton has been described as being very outgoing. She enjoyed normal things: music, dancing, and going to the theatre with friends. Due to her childhood experiences, I think she longed to feel a part of something – I can recognize this because I have felt this way too in my own life. After all, God designed each one of us to have the desire for community.

Her longing for companionship came to fruition when she fell in love as a young woman and wed William Magee Seton. I can picture her speaking fondly of William and their time together as she reminisces about her experiences in New York, where the two of them lived. They were a prominent couple, with many high society friends, and were invited to parties and events regularly. They sounded like a fun couple to be around!

William and Elizabeth Ann welcomed five children into their family. When she was young, Elizabeth Ann had helped to care for her own step-siblings, so she probably felt very practiced in the art of parenting young kids. When his father died suddenly, William inherited the business. Life was busy, but life was good. I can picture Elizabeth Ann in those days sitting down after a long day of taking care of young children, finally finding some peace and quiet for herself, and realizing how far she had come. She had been a lonely child, and now she was surrounded by family.

As all of us know, tragedy can strike in a second. William contracted tuberculosis; and to make matters worse, the company went bankrupt, leaving the Seton family to lose almost everything. I can picture Elizabeth Ann tearing up as she explains how hard that time was for her; but how she never gave up on her faith. It was during this difficult time that she found a connection with her sister-in-law Rebecca. The two of them had a special bond through prayer. I can see her eyes glowing as she speaks of her deep love for her “Soul’s Sister”, as she described her.

While she found such a special bond with Rebecca, she still had to face the reality that William was not getting better. Despite being told they were “crazy”, the couple fled to Europe in a last-ditch effort to help alleviate his symptoms. The only child they brought with them was their daughter Ann who was eight years old at the time. The couple made the heartbreaking decision to send their other children to live with relatives. This sticks out to me as this is what her own father did to her and her older sister Mary – the cause for her loneliness as a child – who were sent to live in the country. And yet, as a parent, she herself chose to do the same thing. With my simplemindedness, I can picture myself asking her why she would do that when she herself went through it as a child. Why would she inflict the same pain on her own children?

And here is where I picture Elizabeth Ann Seton, holding a cup of tea, in a bustling café, leaning very close to me and saying from deep within her heart, “I was desperate.”. Have you ever felt such desperation? Her life was falling apart. Her husband was dying, the business was bankrupt, they were losing everything. Would I not try everything in my power to do the right thing for my family unit?

Sadly, William died from his illness while they were in Europe. What must Elizabeth Ann have felt? She had tried so hard, and in the end she lost the love of her life. How easy is it to get angry in our grief? Was she mad? Did she yell out at God or curse his name?

The Filicchi brother’s, who had been business associates with William, welcomed Elizabeth Ann and her daughter into their home in Italy. People from the local parish poured their love and prayers over the widow and her young child. She attended the Catholic Mass with the family whom she was staying with and had her first experience of people worshipping Jesus in the Eucharist. This led to reordering her own faith and beliefs. Remember, she was raised Episcopalian – Catholicism was not on her radar. And yet, she was now faced with the Catholic Church in a profound way.

As she sits across from me, wiping away her tears with a napkin, I can see her radiant smile as she describes her experience of the Catholic faith. She had tried to go back home to the United States many times but was delayed. While this must have been frustrating because of her sadness of losing William and her separation from her other children; this is what made it possible for her to have more time surrounded by Catholicism. She would not have had this opportunity if she and William had not decided to attempt the trip. A gentle reminder of how God can work in unique ways.

Converting to Catholicism was not an easy journey for our Saint. She had been raised in a prominent Episcopal family – the Catholics in the area were poor Irish immigrants. There was real fear for her during her discernment – would she lose friends? Would her family stop speaking to her?

She loved teaching and made the decision to open a school. This was a practical way for her to earn an income now that she was a widow. The difficulties increased; however, when her previous pastor from the Episcopal Church urged his own congregants against letting their children attend. I am sure she felt lost, once again. And yet, she still found comfort in Christ – attending Mass, studying scripture, and praying daily. She appreciated the Catholic view of the Virgin Mary as our Mother, since she lost her own mother very young.

She approached a Catholic priest who invited her to move to Baltimore to open a Catholic school. This was a huge blessing as Baltimore was much more open to Catholicism and she could leave the stigma behind. Through this venture, she was able to open a fully free Catholic school (public schools were only for the elite of society and cost money to attend).

And then she felt the call; the pull by God asking for more. The once young, lonely child of the Episcopalian faith followed God’s plan and started a religious order in the Catholic Church. This would become The Sisters of Charity. The women in the order dressed like “Mother Seton” who wore the outfit of a widow – black hat and dress. It was through following God’s Call that she was able to establish the first sisterhood in the United States. This woman who had been through so much; poured her heart out to every person whom she encountered. Her sister-in-law’s joined the order, as did two of her own daughters. How happy and proud this mother must have been to witness her own family take their vows!

As she finishes telling me about her life, I can picture Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton’s smile as she proclaims her motto: “Hazard, yet forward”. Her life was not sunshine and roses – It was filled with tragedy. However, it was also filled with joy amidst sorrow and love amidst loss. Her strength in the Lord is what led her to find greatness in her life. How many times could she have been overcome with grief and refused to even get out of bed?

I long to sit with Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton and hear her story first-hand. More than anything, I want to tell her thank you, thank you for showing all of us that holiness is attainable. We do not need to perform miracles or live perfect lives to become Saints. We need a strong faith in the Lord and to follow His promptings.

Prayer:
Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton, pray for us. Pray that those of us who have experienced trauma can find friendship and trust in the Lord. May we be able to look at the “hazards” in our own lives and choose every day to continue to move forward. Amen.

I hope you enjoyed learning about this Saint! The artwork above was created using AI and my own imagination – this is how I picture her and what she would look like sitting with me in a coffee shop. You may have noticed a wedding band on her left ring finger. To me it is a beautiful reminder that she lived two primary vocations in her life: she was a wife and a mother and then became a religious sister. I would love for you to share your own thoughts in the comments. How do you picture Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton? What do you think she would have ordered at a coffee shop? Let me know below!

Cheers! ☕
Maggie